Ultimate Holiday Party Survival Kit: Keep Yourself Together, Girl

You’re probably used to seeing posts on “Holiday Survival Kits,” most of which contain useless, gratuitous items that will only complicate and could even hinder your survival on the holidays.

MY holiday party survival hinges on one important philosophy: Keep Yourself Together, Gurl. Check out my four phases of a typical holiday party night, and the five essential items to help you keep it together.

Phase One: Get Yourself Together, Girl

Kit Item #1: Hanes Power Shaper Tights ($11.99)

Phase one is essential. It is all about the prepping for potential disastrous wardrobe and beauty malfunctions that almost always end up happening after too many glasses of eggnog. This year, you will not be ripping your tights while climbing up a fire escape, because 1) you are more responsible and mature than that and 2) you are going to wear your dependable (and dare I say, slimming?) Hanes tights that are SO reliable they will probably warn you themselves before you do anything stupid. Check out some of the potential holiday outfits I picked out incorporating in Hanes‘s tights!

Kit Item #2: Urban Decay All-Nighter Long-Lasting Makeup Setting Spray ($14)

This stuff works miracles. You can literally cry for hours and your makeup will remain intact. Handy for the Holidays, because who knows what kind of horrifying surprises lurk under rogue mistletoe or how many times you will go cry into your grandmother’s good throw pillows because you’re the only one there without a date? Just kidding, I like it that way. I would probably cry if all the champagne was gone, though.

Phase Two: Keep It Together, Girl

Kit Item #3: Style Emergency Kit ($9.99)

So, you’ve made it through phase one–congratulations! Not. Because phase one was just child’s play. Phase two is when the true depth of your willpower is tested. OMG–your gross Uncle Harry got deodorant all over your amazing Alice & Olivia mini dress! Fashion Emergency Kit has you covered; trust me, you will never be so happy to see a deodorant sponge in your life. Oops! Didn’t realize that when you bend down you can basically see your insides?–thanks, Fashion Emergency Kit for the sticky tape! Oh, and that seam that just popped because you ate one too many black and white cookies from Greenbergs? Yeah, there’s a travel-sized sewing kit for that. You’re welcome.

Phase Three: Get Home Without Breaking an Ankle, Girl

Kit Item #4: Dr. Scholls Fast Flats ($10.95)

Alright, the coast is clear; you’re good and out of sight from the only two cute boys at the party, and it’s time to give your feet a much needed break. And, no, you’re not walking home barefoot like last year. This year, you’re prepared. You’ve got yourself some collapsible flats stuffed in your clutch just for this occasion: the ceremonial removal of one’s heels after leaving the party, but before returning home.

Phase Four: Live to See Another Day, Girl

Kit Item #5: PartySmart Pill (10 capsules, $15.36)

So, you’ve made it home, and to phase four, without a hitch. You’re so tired and just want to snuggle up in your bed, but you remember last year–how you couldn’t get out from under the covers until 4 PM and missed brunch with your Nana. Well, not this year, you won’t! PartySmart pill to the rescue. Take this during/after drinking and be a real person the next day. You might even make it a boozy brunch.